Child Doing Odd Things He Thinks Is Funny
Diaper change.
"I have a 9-month-old who pretends he's pooping (squat and grunt really loud) when he feels like I'm not giving him attention." - Redditor hailcthulhu8
"Look Mama! I'm a fried chicken!"
"This is a 100% true story and I'll be dead meat if my daughter finds out I told it:
"My eldest, at 2, was a nudist. All the time. Company? Who cares? At school? So what? At home? OBVIOUSLY.
"One day I followed a trail of clothes through the kitchen to the back door. Peering through the glass, I found her stark naked, rolling around in the contents of a bulk sized bottle of baby powder. I opened the door and said 'Hey! What are you doing?' and she cheerfully responded with 'Look Mama! I'm a fried chicken!'
"So I shut the door and walked away." - Redditor MissThystle
Ina-poo-priate behavior.
"On Sunday, my 4-year-old pooped in the front yard next to the sidewalk, picked up his poop with a leaf, and threw it in the neighbor's bushes.
"We'd just returned from a camping trip, maybe he wanted to extend the vacation?" - Redditor PM_me_yur_pm
Toilet paper troubles.
"We were out of toilet paper in the downstairs restroom so I asked my son to bring some down. He brought me about 10 sheets. I said, 'No, I need the entire roll.' He came down the stairs with an entire roll, completely unrolled in his arms." - Redditor JesseTheUsher
"I burped out my butt!"
"Sitting in a restaurant when she was young. She announces: 'I burped out my butt!'
"She hadn't learned fart yet." - Redditor SamoftheMorgan
Common scents.
"My two year old was a very good girl on a road trip recently so I told her that I would buy her a treat. She decided that she wanted two small scented candles that she now sleeps with …" - Redditor ChickenPeeps
"So I shouldn't throw him in the fire?"
"'So I shouldn't throw him in the fire?'
"3-year-old daughter holding her baby brother for the first time." - Redditor olafthebent
"I want to peel all your skin off."
"I was sound asleep, and at around 6 a.m. I was woken up by my 4-year-old daughter's face inches from mine. She looked right into my eyes and whispered, 'I want to peel all your skin off.'
The backstory here is I had been sunburned the previous week, and was starting to peel. In my sleep addled state however, it was pretty terrifying for a few seconds. I didn't know if I was dreaming, or what was going on." - Redditor psalm_69
"The last pancake, alone and afraid."
"My mom once gave my 3 ½ year old nephew a pancake, telling him it was the last one. He picked it up, declared 'the last pancake, alone and afraid' and then he shoved it in his mouth. No idea where that came from." - Redditor misshome
"Now we're mating like reptiles!"
"My son (about 6) asked my mother to lay down on her stomach, then he sat on her butt and started bouncing up and down and proclaimed, 'Now we're mating like reptiles!' Thanks nature TV!" - Redditor hasnfefr
"He's always watching."
"I don't have kids, but once, visiting some friends on a farm, my buddy's youngest girl (5 or 6) at the time, was afraid of the chickens. I tried to explain to her that the chickens weren't there to hurt us but she wasn't having it.
"So I'm sitting around the fire pit, looking at one of the chickens a few feet in front of me when I feel hot breath in my ear as she whispers:
"'See. He's always watching.'
"Horrific and hysterical all at once." - Redditor jonuggs
"I'm imagining the waves of blood rushing over me."
"My niece was sitting on the couch with a weird look on her face. Her mom asked her what she was thinking about, and she said, 'I'm imagining the waves of blood rushing over me.'
"Turned out they had been at a local science museum with an exhibit on the circulatory system. One of the features was a walk among some giant fake blood vessels, and she was remembering that." - Redditor hrhomer
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Source: https://www.insider.com/weird-things-kids-do-2018-3
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